step 1:
use open-ended questions for conversation to flow well, it's important to ask open questions, these often start with ‘how', ‘when', ‘why' etc. an open question is something like: "what sort of things do you do in your spare time?"this really gets the conversation flowing. try to avoid asking closed questions. these are questions that can be answered with yes or no answer, such as: "do you like films?"closed questions tend to kill the conversation.

1.提開放式問題
為了讓對話順利展開，提開放式的問題是很重要的，這些問題常以如何，什么時(shí)候，為什么等開頭，如：你在閑暇之余都愛做點(diǎn)兒什么呢？這樣就很容易使對話進(jìn)行下去。盡量避免提封閉性問題，就是那些能夠用是或否來回答的問題，比如：你喜歡看電影嗎？封閉性問題常常使對話無法繼續(xù)進(jìn)行。

step 2:
active listening people speak at 100 to 175 words per minute (wpm), but they can listen intelligently at up to 300 words per minute. since only a part of our mind is paying attention, it is easy to go into mind drift - thinking about other things while listening to someone. the cure for this is active listening - which involves listening with a purpose. it may be to gain information, obtain directions, understand others, solve problems, share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc. it's also important to give feedback to show yourself and the other person that you've understood what they've said. do this by summarising and repeating what you heard.

2.聽的要積極
人們的語速一般在每分鐘100到175字，但是人們卻擁有聽懂每分鐘300字的聽力潛質(zhì)。在與人交談時(shí)，實(shí)際上我們只用了部分注意力在聽人講話上，因此很容易走神-想些其他的事情。解決這個(gè)問題的方法就是積極地去聽-包括帶有目的去聽�？梢允菫榱双@取信息，為了獲得指導(dǎo)，為了了解別人，為了解決問題，為了分享樂趣，為了了解他人的想法，為了表示支持，等等。給對方反饋以顯示自己聽懂了對方的話也是很重要的。你可以做個(gè)總結(jié)也可以重復(fù)一下聽到的話。

step 3:
create a 'cocoon' if you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try to imagine a “cocoon” around you and the person you're listening to. imagine that the cocoon is blocking out all outside distractions, so you can really focus on what they're saying. try repeating their words mentally as they say it - this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.

3.想象一個(gè)“繭”
如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己很難把注意力集中在對方說的話，那就想象在你和說話對方的周圍有一個(gè)“繭”。想象這個(gè)繭隔開了一切外部的讓你分心的事兒，那么你就能夠真正地做到全神貫注地聆聽對方了。當(dāng)對方說話時(shí)，自己在腦海里把他的話重復(fù)一遍-這不僅能為你加強(qiáng)印象，還能幫你集中注意力。

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